Blathering On

I wrote much of this blog in hindsight… I backdated posts so that the timeline of the baby stuff started appropriately when we seriously started trying – when we realized that waiting for an accident to happen wasn’t going to work.  I wrote about the various methods we used while attempting to be proactive about fertility.

I realized yesterday, that I forgot two major things that I focused on for a while.  Every step along the way something would occur to me that I thought could be negatively affecting me and therfore should be changed. 

The first thing, the very first, was my cell phone.  Now, this is definitely one where some studies  say one thing and others are inconclusive.  Since cell phones are here to stay, it’s hardly an option to stop using one entirely, however I had a certain behavior that I decided to curb.  This is kind of embarassing, actually.

When I would drive, I often enjoyed listening to loud music.  When the music’s loud, you can’t hear your phone nor can you see it light up during the day.  Putting it on vibrate is an option, but then where do you put it so you’ll feel the vibrations?  If you put it in a pocket, you’ll have a heck of a time getting it out when it rings.  If it’s in your jacket, you may not feel it at all in the winter, or even be wearing one in the summer.  Me?  I put it between my legs.  That way, it wouldn’t squirt out, was easy to get to and I would feel it ring.  I did this for many years.

(You’re either laughing at me and think I’m an idiot or perhaps you do the same thing.  Maybe you’ve got all the kids you need and you don’t care if it is harmful.)

“This is it!,” I thought.  I mean, my God, I was putting the radioactive thing right at ground zero, repeatedly, consistently.  While studies might be inconclusive, how many of those guys in the studies practically wore the phone in their underwear?  Either way, changing this behavior seemed like a good idea.  Duh.   Although, if it did have a negative effect, who knows how long it would take to reverse?

The other issue was a different application of some conventional wisdom.

The wisdom is that men should not wear tight undershorts or take long bike rides on standard bike seats.  The former is about excessive heat in the crotch area, the latter is about heat and also loss of circulation.  Since everyone knows I don’t ride bikes and everyone also knows I wear loose fitting boxers, what am I referring to?  Well, I’m a web designer and I sit on my ass for long periods of time.  In my home office, I had a cheap Ikea vinyl chair (like a padded leather chair).  I decided that sitting for long periods of time in a chair that did not breathe at all meant I might be cultivating excessive heat.

Like the cell phone revelation, I was determined this could be a major contributing factor!  And so, in July of 2008, I bought a pretty nice mesh seat office chair.  We did get pregnant in October of 2008 so clearly, clearly it was all about the chair.  And possibly the cell phone.  And the vitamins.  And the accupuncture.

I remembered all this because Elizabeth and I were in Ikea and I saw the chair that undeniably caused our infertility.  Obviously, I’ll be suing Ikea.

Ikea Chair - $39.99

P.S.  Elizabeth: getting bigger.  Belly pics?  Fetus: heart beating away.