If you’ve ever watched a Peanuts special (cartoon with Snoopy, etc.) you might recall that whenever a character says or does something embarassing, they blush, swallow in a visible gulp-like fashion and, my favorite part, “HA HA HA HA” fills every spare bit of space around them as children’s laughter fills the air. Literally, I guess.

So when you read the following, please envision gigantic “HA HA HA”’s filling the air around evangelist Ted Haggard speaks in this interview:

“COLORADO SPRINGS, Colo. (Reuters) – Embattled evangelist Ted Haggard admitted on Friday to buying the drug methamphetamine and seeking a massage from a gay male prostitute but denied he had sex with the man or used the stimulant.

Haggard, a vocal opponent of gay marriage, resigned as president of the National Association of Evangelicals on Thursday after being accused by a male escort of having had a sexual relationship with him and using meth.

“I did call him. I called him to buy some meth. But I threw it away. I was buying it for me but I never used it,”

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA

Haggard, who looked uneasy as he sat in a car with his wife, said in an interview with KUSA TV in Colorado broadcast on CNN.

Asked if he had sex with his accuser, he replied tersely, “No I did not.” He said he had sought the man out at a Denver hotel for a “massage.”

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA

And it goes on. Ooooooh, please. To say you didn’t inhale from a joint because you had a fit of coughing that overtook you (Clinton) is one thing but to say that you called a GAY PROSITITUTE to buy CRYSTAL METH but threw it away is absurd. To say that you prefer the strong but supple hands of a GAY PROSTITUTE but did not have sex is ridiculous.

Oh man, this dude has a DARK side. No one just arbitrarily buys meth – outta what? Curiosity? How would he even know what to do with it??? I don’t condemn a person for using drugs or being gay but I wish I had a transcript of every anti-gay anti-drugs sermon he ever gave. I should say, too, that using drugs and being gay should not be grouped together, although consorting with a prostitute as a married man is similarly pathetic.